I’ve been a TV star in the past and of course, I’m a media personality through these columns but it’s hard to believe at my age, I haven’t been on stage.
A few weeks ago I spotted the chance to rectify that when browsing the world wide woof I spotted a story on the ’Champion’s website. Ellen Kent Opera were looking for a dog to appear onstage for La Bohème. As it’s a Poochini opera, I thought I’d be perfect for the part so I dusted off my resumé and sent it on. After all, La Bohème features my favourite aria, ‘Your tiny Paw is Frozen’.
Lo and behold, a few weeks later I got an email telling me that from all the dogs in Munster who had applied, I got the call. I howled with excitement, but I was really only practising my high C in readiness for my début.
So, last Thursday afternoon, I hopped into the car and directed my chauffeur to take me to University Concert Hall. Himself was coming on stage with me and was going to be in costume. I was also in costume, but like a true pro, I brought my own, donning my new Easter Dress from AG Dog Fashions.
I strolled backstage like the Diva I’d like to become and met the director, Victor, who was blown away by my dress and declared that it was the perfect match for the outfit worn by Musetta, the leading lady. I was well pleased.
I was even more pleased when I was led to Dressing Room Number One, as befitted my star status and it was a comfy place to wait for the dress rehearsal. Of course, I knew my part, but my fellow actors would need a final run through before the curtain went up.
At the dress rehearsal, himself insisted on donning his costume and as I suspected, he looked like a prize eejit. He was playing the part of Musetta’s servant, and as he’s my servant every day of the year, it was a part he was born to play.
Musetta, played by the lovely Olga Perrier, led me onstage, followed by himself. After leading me around and back towards centre stage, she handed me over to himself, who then had to talk to a book seller, before we exited, stage left – that’s an actors’ term by the way. I’m really getting to know the lingo.
Wanting some shots for my portfolio, I had my photographer, Arthur Ellis, taking pictures all through the rehearsal. It was a pity all the other actors weren’t yet in costume but I suppose it made me stand out even more.
I had another part to play a few minutes later when himself carried me on stage, rushing after Alcindoro, another character. Once Alcindoro sat down and was given a big restaurant bill, I was placed in his arms and that marked the end of act two.
Well, I hit my marks and played my part perfectly and I was quietly confident that the performance would go smoothly, with me the star of the show.
But, you know, there was a few hours to go before curtain up and I wasn’t due to go on stage for a further half hour and as the zero hour approached my nerves started getting the better of me and I got very restless. Himself took me out to the wings to soak up the atmosphere and I calmed immediately. I was ready. If Lassie could act, so could I.
There seemed to be a huge cast onstage. The lights were bright and I could feel the music through the floor boards but it didn’t bother me in the slightest. I trotted along with Musetta as if I was born for the actor’s life.
Going on stage the second time was a breeze. Himself carried me on, so I didn’t even have to walk. I just had to sit there looking pretty, something that comes very naturally to me.
Before I knew it, the second act was finished and I went back to my dressing room to relax. And who arrived in only Olga, who was so impressed by my acting that she insisted on having photos taken with me. Although the opera company is Ukrainain, Olga is from France and himself fancies he’s a bit of a linguist so he started answering her in French. I was very impressed. I only have a few words of cat myself.
I had plenty of time to chill before I had to go back on stage for my curtain call. We even had time for a quick walk outside where I met some of the lovely dancers who were with me earlier. They were very complimentary about my performance, which was so nice to hear.
At the end of the opera, all the cast gathered on stage and Musetta called me on. As I appeared from the side, you should have heard the applause. I nearly raised the roof and had to take several bows before the audience calmed down.
Then, the whole cast sang the Ukrainain National Anthem. I didn’t know the words of course but I howled along as best as I could. It was truly moving and a lovely way to finish the evening.
I bade farewell to my new friends and hopped back into the car, but instead of heading for home, we went in the opposite direction.
After my wonderful operatic experience, I was much too tired to think about where the magical mystery tour was going to take me next…
Motoring editor - The Clare Champion
Former Chairman and voting member of Irish Motoring Writers' Association