A NORTH Clare woman, whose husband died after he was struck by a car outside of Ballyvaughan in 2023, is setting up Clare’s first ever support group for widows and widowers.
Helga Himmelsbach will host the first ever meeting of the Clare Widow and Widowers Group in Ennis early next month.
Ms Himmelsbach, who lost her husband Jerry in July of 2023, is setting up the group because there is currently no support for widows or widowers in Ireland.
“There is absolutely no support out there at the moment, unless the death of a spouse is connected to a suicide. That is the only situation where there is support and a meeting that is organised where you are invited to come and take part,” she said.
“For people who have lost the most important person in their lives in any other way, there is no support whatsoever.
“There is so much loss, even on a physical level. Jerry did so much for me.
“Wives and husbands do so much for their spouses and that all falls away often very suddenly.
“Then you are left with a hole that is so big that other people are afraid to come near you. They don’t know what to say.
“It isn’t really always the place of your nearest and dearest to jump in, as they are affected by the loss as well, they have their
own trauma to deal with.
“State support is really needed at this time, but that is not forthcoming, so that is where the idea for a support group for widows and widowers is really coming from.”
A similar group which was recently established in Limerick currently has several hundred members and Helga believes that there is also great demand for such a group in Clare.
“This will be a support group but also hopefully a social group,” said Helga.
“When you lose your partner you are all of a sudden the odd one out. You are going out by yourself on a lot of occasions.
“So we may have opportunities for widows and widowers to share events that they might have coming up, maybe a trip to the cinema or going on a holiday.
“But it will be up to the people in the group to decide what they want to do and what they are interested in. Are there different things that they would like to take part in?
“The Limerick has an organised hike each week where people can come along and maybe have a coffee after.
“This will be a group where you can share your loss but also a group where you can grow beyond your loss.
“You will also share this with people who have gone through the same, or a very similar, experience to you and can support you and understand you.
“There are times when you feel really vulnerable.
“There might be an event but maybe I don’t want to go by myself, but that brings you more into isolation.
“We don’t want to disappear, we want to engage in life.”
The first meeting will take place on Saturday, March 8, at the Woodstock Hotel in Ennis from 1pm.
Helga will be greeting people personally at the hotel lobby from 12.45pm.
“The Woodstock Hotel in Ennis was the only hotel who would take us. I really want to stress how good Sean Lally has
been to us about this,” said Helga.
“When I contacted them, Sean was back within a few hours and said that he would support us 100%.
“Other hotels wanted us to pay the full corporate fee, which is very high, so they suggested that we should go to the local parish hall instead.
“But Woodstock have been amazing for us. We are very grateful to them.”
Andrew Hamilton is a journalist, investigative reporter and podcaster who has been working in the media in Ireland for the past 20 years. His areas of special interest include the environment, mental health and politics.