“You Cannot Keep Things In Because It Will Destroy Your Head”

Picture this scenario if you can.

A sports mad teenager is told at 16 years of age that his days of playing contact sports are over because the vision in his left eye is deteriorating at a rapid pace.

That news comes after a period in which he has already overcome glandular fever, serious ankle and shoulder injuries along with having being hit with meningitis.

One of those ailments would be enough to knock the wind out of even the sturdiest of sails, but the collective impact it had on Evan Garvey saw the Kilkee man’s life turned upside down as the realisation dawned of what that prognosis would mean.

At 16 years old, a promising future in the blue and white of his beloved St Senan’s Kilkee was beckoning as he looked set to follow in the footsteps of his father John and uncle Derek, who were major figures for the famed seaside club. Both were involved in Kilkee’s 2005 championship success, which is the last time that Jack Daly was brought beyond Moyasta. Rugby was also knocking on the door with opportunities, and despite impressing when called for trials, the lure of the GAA was too great to walk away from.

It was during his fourth year in St Joseph’s Community College that Evan first began to notice the impact that these setbacks were having on his life, as the effects of a deep rooted depression took hold.

“I just started to feel really low and I was losing interest in everything. Being told that I was not able to continue playing sports had a major impact on me because at the time, I felt I was going really well with football and I was flying fit. I had overcome some really serious injuries and then the meningitis struck. It was while I was in hospital with that, it was discovered there was an issue with my eyesight. The specialist told me I was losing vision in one eye and that I would have to give up sports. That hit me really hard and I started going downhill from there. It got to the point where I couldn’t even go to games anymore to watch them, because all I wanted to do was be out there playing myself” he explained.

That period of his life is one that he looks back on with some element of regret, as he laments that he did not open up sooner about the issues he was having. A popular young man among his peer group, he admits that an element of shame and a lack of knowledge of how to broach the subjects were two key factors in keeping it to himself.

“I hid it from my family and friends. When I was around them, I was trying my best to act normal but it got so difficult to do that. I started spending much more time on my own and that was only making it worse. Any time that someone might ask the question about why I was looking a bit upset, I just told them that it was just one of those days and left it at that. I was struggling to sleep at night and found myself getting panic attacks purely from just overthinking every little thing. There was no real awareness of it at the time, compared to what is there now, so there was that element of being ashamed to admit how you were feeling, particularly as a teenage boy” he noted.

After completing his Leaving Cert, Evan headed for Limerick Institute of Technology, but the motivation for choosing that direction was, by his own admission, misdirected.

“I only followed my friends really. We were all living in the same place and I picked a course that I didn’t even want to do. I was probably drinking more than I should have been too and it was having a really negative impact on me. There were days where I just could not get out of the bed and I was often lying in until mid afternoon” he recalled.

The college journey ended after the first semester, but it was the starting point of Evan eventually reaching out for help. Suicidal thoughts had begun to manifest themselves, but the realisation of what was at stake eventually drove him to confiding in his parents and immediately, he knew he had made the right call.

“It was emotional for them but I knew I had to do it if I was going to get the better of it. My mother was the one who looked up places where I could help and got in touch with Pieta House in Limerick. That was a real turning point for me. I remember going down there on that first day and I really didn’t want to. I knew I had to, but I didn’t want to. They were so welcoming and I remember coming out and telling my mother that I had just spoken for a full hour. That even surprised myself because I would never have been someone who would speak much in any setting. It was just such a relief to finally get it off my chest. I had kept it in for far too long so the release of finally opening up about how I was feeling was brilliant” he said.

It was through the guidance he received as part of his engagement with the services at Pieta House that he found the career path he is now firmly on. It was a natural fit, as his love of sport came back into play when he began a journey toward becoming a personal trainer. He feels that push in the right direction was exactly what he needed.

“At the time, I had no real direction in my life and I had no idea what I wanted to do. Finding that route into a career in the fitness and training sector was massive for me. I also found that having an outlet where I could take out my frustrations was huge, and a simple thing like hitting a boxing bag really helped me to release that stress. Sport and fitness is a major thing for people to deal with any mental health issues they may be having, particularly at the moment, and I found that it really helped me too” he outlined.

The 25-year-old is now in the final weeks of becoming a fully qualified fitness instructor and harbours ambitions of having his own gym in his native Kilkee in the coming years. Having fought his way through the toughest battle of his life, the message of the importance of opening up is one that he feels cannot be preached enough.

“I have had so many messages from people who are suffering from mental health issues and asking me for help. It is amazing also to see the amount of my friends who have gotten in touch to say they had no idea what I was going through, and that they wished they knew so they might have been able to help. We all need that help at times. I have come through it thankfully but it is hard to stay positive all the time at the moment with everything that is going on. I wouldn’t say I am 100% all the time but no one is really. The crucial thing is that people just talk when they are feeling down, and that they have someone who will listen to them. You cannot keep things in because it will destroy your head. There are so many options out there now for people seeking that help, but the first step is making sure you tell someone when you start to feel down” he concluded.