Patient approach to communicating

Most people take being understood for granted. But what if every syllable was a challenge? What if trying to take a thought and turn it into a request took what, in a world of social networks, text messages and email, felt like an eternity. Simple acts of patience can make all the difference, so says a leading speech and language therapist.
“93% of how we communicate with each other is in ways other than language. It involves how we use our gestures, our bodies, our posture, how we look at people and the tone of our voice. It is incumbent on people to be observant and honour the impact of that communication. Everything isn’t said in words,” outlines Mari Caulfield, who has worked in the area of speech and language therapy for the past 30 years for the Western Health Board (now HSE West), Ability West and most recently in private practice.
Mari believes a little more patience and understanding from the wider population can make it easier for those with communication challenges to lead an independent life. She wants to see a greater understanding within society of the “communication environment”.
“By that I mean that everyone has rights in relation to being communicated with at their level of communication. We, in society, need to learn how best to communicate with people who have communication challenges,” Mari says.
It’s simple. Not everyone can get their message across clearly and succinctly through speech. So couldn’t more people in service roles learn or at least be open to alternative forms of communication?
“There are many children and adults who use alternative forms of communication like LAMH sign language, Picture Exchange Communication System (PECS) or some electronic communication aids. What I would love to see and fortunately I do see it in certain outlets or restaurants, is staff being very willing to engage in a system like this where they might acknowledge a person with an alternative communication system, where they might accept a picture of a burger and one say of chips as a communication request,” Mari comments.
Other service users can make a difference too by just being more patient.
“Giving people more time to communicate their needs, speaking a little more slowly, listening carefully for their response, which may take them eight to 10 seconds to produce, are all strategies that really enhance meaningful communication,” explains Mari.
“The speed at which we now communicate, with new media and social networking, has changed. My children could speak to five people at a time on Facebook or text back and forth rapidly. That is the competition that children with special needs face,” she adds.
Indeed, because of this, Mari believes, there should be more information and training sessions for people who work with the public so they might be more aware of communication challenges and the best ways to support a customer with a disability or a special need. The ability to communicate is vital, not just for independent living but also for developing fulfilling relationships. This is most important in the home and school.
“What drives being a human being is having rich relationships with other people and one of the primary tools for building these relationships is communications. Children and young adults and adults with challenges in that area can become disadvantaged because the rest of us, the enabled persons, don’t give them the necessary time.
“No one expects to give birth to a child who has special needs and when a parent is faced with a child who it emerges has communications challenges, this can be quite challenging emotionally. There is a weight on the shoulders of parents of children with special needs because they have to advocate for their child a lot to support their overall development and in some ways they become a manager of the child’s greater needs,” Mari explains.
Because of this and the unique experiences of parents, Mari has organised a support day for and by parents of children with special needs, which takes place this Saturday in the Carlton Hotel, Galway.
Entitled Look into my Eyes, the day-long workshop involves parent presentations focussing upon supportive experiences, strategies, activities and positive parental networking. “This is a day of sharing by, for and with parents of children with special needs”, says organiser and co-facilitator Mari.
“Together, we will explore ways in which parents can encourage development and real connection through shared attention and regulation, engagement, purposeful communication and social problem-solving opportunities with their child,” she continued.
“The goal is to celebrate the young child’s relationships and over the years we have received fantastic feedback from parents who felt supported and encouraged by the shared experiences of other parents,” she concluded.
To register, contact Mari Caulfield, Training Ways, The Courtyard, Kilcolgan on 091 796777 or email enquiries@trainingways.com.