On the couch

Who shot first – Han or Greedo?
If you don’t have an opinion on this question or, more likely, you don’t have a damn clue what the question means then alot of what makes Fanboys funny or even coherant, will fly completely over your head.
Kyle Newman’s period comedy (well 1996 anyway) is about a group of Star Wars obsessed friends who try to fulfill their dying buddy’s dream of breaking into George Lucas’s Skywalker Ranch.
It amounts to an incredibly niche road movie that’s sweeter and less crude than Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back but also less funny and sometimes slightly too self conscious for its own good.
After losing touch with his three Star Wars obsessed mates after finishing school Eric (Sam Huntington) finds out his childhood BFF, Linus (Chris Marquette), has been diagnosed with cancer and given less than three months to live.
Despite a frosty reunion between the two, their friends in common, Hutch (Dan Fogler channelling the spirit of Jack Black) and Windows (the always entertaining Jay Baruchel) unearth a childhood plan to plunder George Lucas’ famous ranch to rifle through the mass of memorabilia and, in a poignant twist, try to steal a look at the new film, Star Wars Episode 1, that is due for release months after their friend is expected to survive.
Not that this cancer storyline is dwelled on too much, other than for a great cameo from Carrie Fisher and in the setup for a brilliant final line. Schmaltz is not the name of the game here.
Dumbass gags and fan-pleasing cameos punctuate proceedings with the likes of Star Wars alums Fisher and Billy Dee Williams, as well as the man behind Aintitcoolnews, Harry Knowles, actor Danny Trejo, Seth Rogan and the great one himself, William Shatner.
Kirsten Bell also lends her geek chic to the second half of the film as the lads’ friend who seems to be the toughest and most manly of the bunch.
It’s all good, well intentioned fun but sometimes lacks in the volume of actual jokes, padding the proceedings out with amusing references and nods rather than good gags.
Unlike one of Kevin Smith’s stoner comedies that is accessible, or at least mildly diverting for the uninitiated, Fanboys will leave you stone cold if you don’t know your Ewoks from your Emperor but, if you’re all about the Force, it should put a smile on your face.
It’s just not the classic it could have been.
There’s a long tradition of really well put together thrillers in British cinema. Gritty, claustrophobic, well-acted and unsentimental, they’re always slightly more unpredictable and nasty than their American counterparts and The Disappearance of Alice Creed is no different.
In fact, the most surprising thing about the film – other than the myriad twists and turns the plot takes – is that Gemma Arterton, as the main character, Alice, puts in such a good performance especially given her last big role in James Bond flick, The Quantum of Solace, bore more of a resemblance to a corgi with locked-in syndrome than to an actual actress.
The set-up is simple. Minimalist theatre simple in fact. Two gentlemen of low moral character, Vic and Danny (Eddie Marsan and Martin Compston), kidnap rich brat Alice. They demand £2 million for her safe release. Things do not go as planned.
Set almost entirely in the specially outfitted flat the lads are holding their captive in, The Disappearance of Alice Creed has some of the same appeal as 44-Inch Chest, the recent flick that starred Ray Winston and every other good British actor over 50.
Initially little happens. The kidnap itself is shown in the sparsest of manners and the drama, for the most part, comes not from the doings transpiring in the flick, but in the relationship between the younger, gentler Danny, the occasionally brutish and controlling Vic and the captured Alice.
Performing with a ball gag in her mouth for more than half the film, Arterton really does impress, shifting convincingly from fear for her life to the momentary worry of whether she’ll soil herself or not with little more than a flash of her eyes and a flailing of fingers.
The story gathers tension and excitement in the second half but to say too much would spoil it. Despite meat being a little thin to be truly satisfying it’s still a great evening in.