Wagner interest wanes

CHANNEL HOPPING
HE bangs, he bangs oh baby when he moves, he moves – no it’s not Ricky Martin but perhaps the only man that is keeping his records in use is the one, the only, Brazilian love-machine that is Wagner. Oh my, what a terrible act.

Normally, I am behind these kind of quirky two-fingers to the competition groups that Louis picks but not this year. For those who have lives on a Saturday night and are lost as to the above statement, we are talking about X-Factor of course.
Wagner, who bears absolutely no resemblance to the classical composer that has been loved by many and hated by others because of the fact that he was Hitler’s favourite composer, has been creaking across our screens and singing out of tune for a number of weeks now. At first it was funny but as time creeps on in the competition, we cannot help but scream, ENOUGH! The novelty has worn off and unlike Jedward last year, he is not particularly likeable.
Jedward gave it socks no matter what cheesy rendition they were doing. Despite the fact they made every rap sound a little like something that could be trotted out in a primary school play, you clapped, laughed and generally enjoyed it because it was young people having a laugh. Wagner on the other hand, well he is like a bad Joe Dolan impersonator in a terrible basement club. You know the type, with velvet on the walls that’s a bit sticky and a carpet that resembles shag-pile. All that is missing is a gold curtain glistening behind him and an auld one propping up the bar. Come to think of it, that might be more interesting. Alas, it seems those that vote are keeping the greying ‘stud’ in and we may well be treated to many more cringe-inducing performances by the beaded Brazilian yet.
The rest of the show is also limping by. What promised to be quite diverse at the beginning has ended up showing the same thing every week. Matt of the hat was praised for singing a Britney song well and so of course, he had to do a similar thing with a Leona Lewis number. Aiden is trying to be a New Romantic but is failing miserably, mainly because he is not angular of jaw enough nor miserable enough. He is more sulky teenager that has been interpreted by other sulky teenagers as being intense and mysterious. Poppycock – he is about as intense as a plate of mashed potatoes and gravy from a school canteen – all Oxo and no meat.
With Strictly Come Dancing closing the gap in the ratings stake, Simon Cowell may yet feel the pressure and maybe get the good folk at X-Factor HQ to sass it up a bit. We shall see. It’s on TV3 on Saturday nights at 8pm followed by the X-tra Factor (awful) with the results on Sunday at the same time.
A programme that has to be watched this November is the second season of Misfits. This programme is like Skins meets Heroes, only they are less heroic and a lot more edgy. The band of orange jumpsuit wearers were doing a spot of community service when they were struck by a lightning storm. Having survived uninjured, they quickly discover they have some special powers. The gang of two girls and three guys are gifted the power of mind-reading, time twisting, invisibility, sexual charge and if although not found out until the last episode of the first season, immortality. This gang of very loutish youths are not particularly happy about their gains and soon find that they get in the way. They also don’t really help them with their everyday problems and as things escalate, they find that all they really have is each other but they are not overly pleased by that either.
The first season was a cracker and quite rightly won a BAFTA for drama series. It is not an underpants and tights kind of programme. These are not kids from nice posh houses with posh accents and posh problems they have real problems, real issues and the powers only make them bigger. If you could imagine that Tarantino directed Heroes around the time he produced Hostel you would be close to a description of this programme. Okay, that might be a slight exaggeration, but folk die and people go on the run and there is an overarching sense of fear and menace throughout. The new series begins on E4 on November 11.
Celebrity Banisteoir drew to a close last Sunday with a win for Castleisland and Derek of Crystal Swing. It was an enjoyable season this year and I am delighted that Derek won. The lads on the pitch had nothing but praise for him and if it proves anything, it’s that a little enthusiasm goes a long way.
It’s amazing how quickly the girls and boys at Scannal on RTÉ can knock out these programmes. Not even a year since the story gripped headlines north, south and across the water, the story of Iris Robinson’s affair with a much younger man was aired last Monday. The story looked at the fallout of the case for all concerned and the impact it had on proceedings in Northern Ireland. The programme entitled the Cougar and the Cub – the Iris Robinson Affair looked at how the world of Northern Ireland politics was turned on its head and the normally grey-suited and sullen faces on both sides found themselves in a tabloid haven of lace and boudoirs. The account looked at the media coverage, interviews and film footage of the case and tracked the decline of the Robinson-era in politics and the values which they so vehemently argued.
One to watch: The Model Scouts. Another Irish version of a popular show; two scouts are looking for the new big Irish modelling sensation and they have eight weeks to do it.