TV treats for seasonal sit-ins

IN preparation for the Christmas special of Downton Abbey (no, wait, sorry, suppressing fits of laughter) ITV’s The Making Of A Lady was a rather curious affair on Sunday night.
A much-changed adaptation of Frances Hodgson Burnett’s 1901 novel The Making of a Marchioness, it begins as quite the sweet Cinderella story. Emily Fox-Seaton (Lydia Wilson) the wide-eyed innocent girl of good parentage but no cash becomes the helpful sort to a cranky aunt (a tragically wasted Joanna Lumley) of loaded Lord James Walderhurst (Linus Roache). One matter-of-fact “I need a sensible woman” proposal later and a rags to riches tale is on the cards for Emily. 
That’s when two roads diverged so to speak and the horse and cart veered wildly off the romantic period drama track and into Victorian thriller territory. His Lordship absconds to India with little in the way of an explanation as to why. So the now pregnant Emily gets his Lordship’s wayward cousin (James D’Arcy) and his ‘exotic’ wife for company along with old chum Jane as lady’s maid, who soon has a dalliance with the wayward cousin, who is ‘not well’ we are told a dozen times (for ‘not well’ , read ‘slightly psychotic’) and may be trying to do away with Emily with the help of a creepy old Indian woman in an attempted inheritance coup. The butler meets a watery end and ultimatlely so does the cad, as Lord Walderhurst makes a dramatic return just in time to tell a now unconscious Emily that he really did love her all along. Utterly preposterous stuff, but it did make the more ridiculous plotlines of Downton Abbey (Mr Pamuk I’m looking at you) look like perfectly normal fare.
Speaking of which, I’m sure the world sighed with collective relief when it was announced that ITV’s most watched show this year Downton Abbey would not clash with the BBC’s most watched show Call the Midwife on Christmas Day.
Call the Midwife’s Christmas special (7.30pm on BBC1) sees the nuns and midwives of Nonnatus House find an abandoned baby on the doorstep of the convent, prompting a search to find the mother while over Lord Grantham’s way at 8.45pm, we find the whole family are not in fact at Downton at all but have en masse decamped to Scotland. Can’t (cough) wait!
There is fare better fare to be found on over the festive season however, so here’s a quick rundown on the highlights.
Sunday: Mr Stink (6.30pm on BBC One) – Hugh Bonneville (he’s everywhere these days) plays the title role in this adaption of David Walliams’ book about 12-year-old Chloe who befriends a homeless man.
Christmas Eve: Mrs Brown Boys – There’s a double helping of Agnes and family with one episode on Christmas Eve and the other on Christmas Day as Brendan O’Carroll’s Dublin matriarch attempts to stage the local nativity play.
Outnumbered (BBC1) – The Brockmans’ plans to bring the locals together by hosting a Christmas party go spectacularly wrong as hyperactive Ben is left in charge of organising party games.
The Snowman and the Snowdog (Channel 4) – The sequel to Raymond Briggs’ children’s classic The Snowman.
Christmas Day: The Royle Family (9.45pm) returns after a two year break with Jim pinning all his hopes on a winning scratchcard, while Dave is aiming to get on Dragons’ Den. Meanwhile, a new neighbour moves onto the street with an impressive cleavage, but will she be welcome on the sofa?
Doctor Who (5.15pm on BBC1) introduces new companion Clara (Jenna-Louise Coleman). Entitled The Snowmen and written by Steven Moffat, Matt Smith’s Doctor teams up with governess Clara against villain Richard E Grant on Christmas Eve, 1892.
St Stephen’s Day: There could be some craic in the form of a one-off instalment of The School Around the Corner on RTÉ One, hosted in the absence of the late Gerry Ryan by Ray D’Arcy. He goes with Una Healy from The Saturdays to her old primary school in Thurles.
Vincent Browne’s Review of the Year (TV3) – Solely because the man is always worth a look for withering one-liners.
Doors Open – Ian Rankin’s 2008 book adapted for the screen by James Mavor at 9pm on ITV. Produced by and starring Stephen Fry, it follows a banker, a professor of art and a computer millionaire who concoct a plan to replace priceless artworks with fakes.
The Girl – Toby Jones channels Alfred Hitchcock in this made-for-TV film on BBC2 at 9pm chronicling the director’s rather destructive relationship with Tippi Hedren (Sienna Miller).
December 27: Restless (BBC1 9pm) – A two-part adaptation of William Boyd’s hit spy thriller about a young woman who discovers her Russian mother was a British spy during World War II. Features an all-star cast of Hayley Atwell, Rufus Sewell, Michelle Dockery, Michael Gambon and Charlotte Rampling.
Raheny Immaturity for Charity on RTÉ2 at 9.30pm is a special sketch-show comedy in aid of St Francis Hospice, Raheny, and will feature the talents of the Gleeson clan Brendan, Domhnall and Brian; Amy Huberman, Robert Sheehan, Hugh O’Connor and David Wilmot among others.
December 28: Joe Dolan: Sweet Little Rock and Roller for those who like to tap their feet to the sounds of the man from the Mullingar.
December 29: RTÉ continues the nostalgia celebrations of turning 50 this year and those who remember Shay Healy’s Nighthawks might be interested in TV50: Nighthawks Rehashed, which revisits various highlights, including the Sean Doherty interview that revealed Charlie Haughey’s involvement in the phone-tapping scandal.
December 30: Ripper Street (BBC1 9pm) – Jack the Ripper gets an eight-part re-telling. Set in Whitechapel six months after the murders, Matthew Macfadyen is Inspector Edmund Reid and it also stars Jerome Flynn and Irish lass Charlene McKenna. This was shot in Dublin earlier this year for trivia fans out there.
December 31: Miriam O’Callaghan will ring in the new year on RTÉ and officially launch The Gathering at the same time, the most concerted effort so far to solve the debt crisis by getting rich emigrants to come back to the native turf and spend, I mean, spread a little cheer.