Trekking round in circles

Star Trek: Into Darkness
DIRECTED BY: JJ Abrams
STARRING: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Benedict Cumberbatch, Zoe Saldana
CERT: 12A

 

JJ Abrams rebooted the Star Trek franchise in some style back in 2009 and pulled off a handy little time-travel trick while he was at it. It wasn’t the most imaginative of moves, but the gimmick succeeded in wiping the slate clean – giving Abrams license to create a whole new series in his own image, to literally do whatever the hell he wanted.

Probably more than anyone before him, he was free to fulfill the grand old mission: “To explore strange new worlds. To seek out new life; new civilisations. To boldly go where no one has gone before.”
The sky, as it were, was the limit. So you have to wonder why, for his second act, Abrams has chosen to reheat a familiar old story. Only in the opening minutes could it be said that Abrams is treading ground that is strange and new.

When we meet them, Captain Kirk (Pine) and Dr McCoy (Karl Urban) are running for their lives from a tribe of mud-painted warriors, while Spock (Quinto) jumps into a volcano to save this primitive people from sudden extinction.

In one short sequence, we have an exotic new planet, lovely visuals, fine action, a touch of romance and that crucial tension between the leading characters of the series – the age-old battle between emotion and logic. You could hardly ask for a better start.

It continues at a nifty pace, too. Following Spock’s characteristically honest report on events, Kirk is stripped of the Enterprise. But when London is rocked by an explosion and Starfleet headquarters itself is attacked, Kirk is reassigned to the chair in a hurry, accompanied by the usual crew – Lieutenant Uhuru (Saldana), Sulu (John Cho), Chekhov (Anton Yelchin) and Scotty (Simon Pegg). Science boffin Dr Carol Marcus (Alive Eve) is a new face on board, babysitting a payload of torpedoes. This time, the Enterprise is dressed for business.

The business at hand is the obliteration of the terrorist foe – a villain with the not-very-villainous name of John Harrison (Cumberbatch). Harrison is hiding out among our old friends, the Klingons and Kirk and the boys must do their deed without managing to ignite a war. But of course, they end up getting themselves in all kinds of trouble anyway.

This is the point where the film takes a nosedive – when the baddie is revealed for who he really is. Despite some laughable lines, Cumberbatch himself is impressive in the role – but the problem is the identity of the character he’s playing and the silly plot he’s got cooked up in his head.

As I said, with unlimited options open to him, it’s baffling that Abrams would decide instead to take Star Trek around in circles. It might make some of the fanboys happy, but it shows a terrible lack of imagination.
To make up for it, Abrams throws the CGI kitchen sink at the screen. Sometimes it works – Kirk and his new worst enemy hurtling through a meteor shower is daft but entertaining and though again it’s nothing new, the destruction of San Francisco is impressive. But then, sometimes it doesn’t work – there’s a warp-speed chase that might have been intended as so-cheesy-it’s-hilarious, but really it’s just downright bad.

In the central roles, Pine and Quinto do a fine job again, reinterpreting Kirk and Spock as a pair of bickering old biddies. Which is fine by me, but for two certain issues.

One, the widespread use of the word “bromance” to describe this relationship, a crime for which electro-shock therapy might be considered as a means of rehabilitation. Two, Abrams’ obsession with making Mr Spock have feelings. Is it not enough that the poor man has to go around looking like a permanently puzzled emo?

Elsewhere, some stalwarts get the shabby end of the stick. Bones McCoy doesn’t do much but run around making a fuss, shouting lines that are probably supposed to be funny. Likewise Scotty, who’s all frantic energy but is about as funny as chickenpox, despite the gallant efforts of Simon Pegg. Uhuru spends her scant screen time being miffed at Spock for some reason, while the unfortunate Chekhov is reduced to running around the engine room, roaring his head off.

To be fair to Abrams, there’s hardly a dull moment in the movie’s two-hour-plus running time. Despite all of the admirable energy and action – and even the occasional fun – there are no particularly memorable moments, either. At best, Star Trek: Into Darkness is a blockbuster-by-numbers.

Sci-fi fans will be hoping Abrams does a better job at the helm of that other inter-galactic franchise – he’s the man who will sit in the director’s chair for Star Wars: Episode VII.