Taking on sick pets’ symptoms

TV REVIEW

THERE are hundreds of pet owners across the county and no matter what kind of animal you have, one thing is for certain – it plays an important part of your life.
They are with us through good times and bad and bring a lot of joy into our lives. My own pooch, Dusty the golden retriever who wouldn’t retrieve, was as much a part of the family as any of my siblings and when he passed a few months back, he was mourned as such, with full funeral rites.
He was a brilliant pet with a great personality and a lot of idiosyncrasies. For a breed that supposedly loves water, Dusty hated it. When we tried to teach him to retrieve as a pup he would look from the ball thrower to the ball and back to thrower with a look that said, if you think I’m getting that, think again. He was a real character. So it is easy for me as a viewer to relate to the people and their pets that feature in the new pet programme on Sky One, Wednesday evenings at 8pm.
My Pet Shame is just like the human equivalent programme, The Spa of Embarrassing Illness, which was running for a while on Sky, only it deals with pets. All types of pets are catered for, from murderous ferrets to flatulent pugs and no animal is too embarrassing for the rather charming Dr Marc Abraham, who is like the Dr Doolittle of our time, only he doesn’t talk to the animals, he uses training and veterinary science to help him.
Hosted by Welsh actress and star of the award-winning Gavin and Stacey, Joanna Page, this programme is much like all the pet programmes that have gone before, the most famous of which must be Animal Hospital presented, of course by Mr Didgeridoo himself, Rolf Harris.
My Pet Shame wants to be like Animal Hospital but is actually more like Animal Hospital with YouTube clips. The format is not new or different but it is an entertaining show.
Last week’s episode featured a slobbering horse, a murderous ferret called Whisper and the flatulent pug, Columbo.
Columbo was the star of the show and when it was decided that more exercise might be the key to fighting his inappropriate wind-breaking, the pug and his owner were sent to a doggie dancing class. Well, all I can say is that the sight of Columbo moonwalking across the screen was enough to seal this programme in mind as being just a little bit barking.
It’s harmless fun and perfect family entertainment. Joanna Page’s voice will never endear me to anything she presents, as it is too high-pitched and squeaky, but that is not to say that she is not a good presenter. She quickly establishes a rapport with the owners and gushes over the pets. Rolf Harris she isn’t but one thing is for certain, she doesn’t need to be. 
So one of the big programmes on the RTÉ schedule this summer is Take on the Takeaway. This programme sees a number of Ireland’s top chefs arriving at people’s houses and cooking the same meal as they order in their local takeaway for a fraction of the cost. There is then a blind taste test to see which one comes out on top.
Now, from the start I have a problem with this programme. You are not “taking on the takeaway” if you are asking two chefs to compete and that’s that. This programme aims to get people to cook more but the whole thing is that this is not going to encourage people to cook more because cooking is about preparation and anyone I know that eats a lot of takeaways does so because they are busy at work or doing other things, hate cooking or, more likely, don’t have time to go shopping. Of course, if we could call a top chef every night to cook our dinner for a fraction of the cost we would but the reality of the matter is that people order in because it means they don’t have to cook or wash up.
In one programme we saw Tom and Paul Murphy, two lads who never cook, involved in the challenge with top chef Stephen McAllister. McAllister came, he cooked and the lads liked it.
Now, the point of this is not whether the takeaway or the chef won but the fact that when that episode was aired Tom, who was on the programme, was on the Will Leahy Show on 2FM and told the country that they had probably had more food from the Chinese since the show than before.
This just illustrates my point that no matter how entertaining and flashy these programmes are, they are not changing lifestyles because they are not creating more hours in the day for the people involved nor are they giving them the desire or the compunction to cook.
So unlike the gardening programmes, fat-loss programmes or even the cooking programmes, this programme to my mind serves no function other than to showcase the talents of some already established chefs. Tune in to RTÉ One on Wednesday nights to see it.

One to watch this week
If you have kids or are just at home yourself these days with not a lot to do, check out Test the Teachers, a show where sixth-class pupils devise questions to test the teachers from their rival school.
This is another in a long line of excellent primary school focused quizzes from RTÉ and is for many kids a dream come true as they get to find out how much knowledge teachers have on national television. It’s on weekdays at 11.20am on RTÉ Two.