Shakespeare is bleeding

FILM REVIEW

Letters To Juliet
DIRECTED BY: Gary Winick
STARRING: Amanda Seyfried, Vanessa Redgrave, Gael Garcia Bernal, Christopher Egan
CERT: PG

Poor old Shakespeare. Countless crimes against taste have been committed in his name and will no doubt continue to be perpetrated long after we’ve joined him in the grave – where his unfortunate bones are in a permanent state of dizziness. I don’t know what he ever did to deserve it.
(Well, apart from turning up on the Leaving for the past 400 years. Macbeth is great and all but nobody wants their bloody future jeopardised by failing to correctly interpret the murderous ravings of a Scottish lunatic who spoke in ancient English.)
But moving on. Letters To Juliet is the latest lump of muck to be “inspired” by the great man’s fine old tragedy, Romeo and Juliet. Not that you’ll find much tragedy in this yarn, though the word tragic does come frequently to mind.
Amanda Seyfried is Sophie, a fact checker with the New Yorker, who jets off to Verona for a bit of break with her gobdaw fiancé Victor (Bernal), who doesn’t seem pushed about spending time with his woman in such a famously romantic location. So while he’s off hunting grub for his restaurant, she pays a visit to the house supposedly once occupied by the Bard’s young heartsick heroine.
For many years, lovelorn ladies have been leaving letters beneath the balcony of the house, asking Juliet for romantic advice. Kind of like a Wailing Wall for lovers, a shrine for prayers of the lonesome to a ancient agony aunt. And this auntie responds, too.
Actually the replies come from a group called the Secretaries Of Juliet and they recruit Sophie as a translator. One day she finds a letter that turns out to be 50 years old, composed by a young English girl called Claire, who had a fondness for a strapping Italian lad by the name of Lorenzo.
Well, Sophie writes back and soon the young Claire (Redgrave) turns up in Verona. Only she’s aged a bit by now and she’s brought along her grandson Charlie (Egan), a bit of an arrogant git.
So it’s off to track down the ’bould Lorenzo – which means traipsing around and knocking on a lot of wrong doors. And maybe my memory deceives me but did I not see this carry on before, only done to much more entertaining effect in the excellent Amelie?
Anyway, you know what happens next. But on the off chance you’re not familiar with how soppy movies are supposed to end, the ’bould Lorenzo is still a strapping fella and Sophie trades one big thundering eejit for another. You could call that a spoiler but that would suggest that there’s something remotely fresh in the vicinity.
If you must go see this, or you’re dragged along by your better half (though if she was really better, she wouldn’t do such a thing), there are a couple of things to enjoy. One is the great number of beautiful location shots. The other is the lovely Amanda Seyfried – who must surely find a film to match her talents some time soon.
First Dear John and now this? I don’t know what she ever did to deserve it.

Brooklyn’s Finest
DIRECTED BY: Antoine Fuqua
STARRING: Ethan Hawke, Richard Gere, Don Cheadle, Wesley Snipes
CERT: 18

Time was when you knew where you were with the fellas in the movies and the lads on the telly. You had good guys and you had bad guys. The good guys always won and it would never cross your mind that the cops might be on the wrong side. Well, not usually anyway.
Ah but I’m showing my age now. In Brooklyn’s Finest, there’s no clear line, no real black and white and the cops are neither good nor bad – just a bunch of people trying to make it through. It’s not an original notion at this stage – director Antoine Fuqua seems most clearly influenced by The Wire and doesn’t mind borrowing a character or two from stereotype central – but his film is a decent watch, though never really in the same league as his 2001 feature, Training Day.
The story involves a trio of NYPD cops in various stages of corruption and disillusionment. Sal (Hawke) is trying to close a deal to move his large family and sick wife out of a mouldy house but will only manage to pull it off with dirty money.
Tango (Cheadle) is a recently divorced undercover detective who wants out of the seedy jobs but is in tight with local crime boss Caz (Snipes) and Eddie (Gere) is the quintessential burnt out veteran, counting down his final days on the force.
Their stories are competently told but rarely compelling and when the characters and their crises ultimately converge, it’s so forced it wanders into silly land.
The cast do a decent job, Cheadle and Snipes lifting their characters above the clichés and Irish actor Brian F O’Byrne making a fine impression as Sal’s good friend and colleague, Ronny.
Had Fuqua and writer Michael C Martin given more attention to the script early on, this could have been a whole lot better.