Recovering alcoholic shares experiences with teenagers

AN Ennis journalist who put pen to paper to write a book about his battle with alcoholism is now offering to share his experiences with teenagers in Clare and across the country.
Thirty-three-year-old Brian O’Connell’s book, Wasted: A Sober Journey through Drunken Ireland, talks about the hold alcohol had on him prior to his recovery. It is now over five years since he had a drink and he no longer thinks about alcohol every day of his life. He recognises, however, that many people, even many who are not ‘confirmed’ alcoholics, have a regular real struggle with alcohol, which becomes more prominent during the festive season and at times of celebration.
Brian says there has been a lot of interest from secondary schools in bringing someone in to share their own personal negative experiences of alcohol with pupils.
“As I was getting so many calls, I decided to dedicate some time to school visits. I have done a number of school visits before, including Rice College, where I went to school. Essentially, pupils share stories with me about alcohol and I speak to them about my own experiences with alcohol. Peer pressure exists in relation to alcohol as it did when I was in school. Pupils also seem to have more disposable income. I’ve also found that the age at which teenagers are engaging with alcohol is getting younger,” he comments.
He says studies have shown that some medical practitioners involved with alcohol rehabilitation centres are saying that 11-year-olds are now presenting with chronic alcohol addiction.
“So many studies in the past decade all point to the fact that Irish teenagers drink a very particular way. A recent study by the ISPCC [The Irish Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children] regarding teenager drinking patterns said that binge drinking (five drinks or more in one sitting) among teenagers is very common. The study also found that 20% to 40% of teenagers had accessed unsolicited alcohol information via the internet before the age of 18, while 40% also have alcohol merchandise, including clothing, bags, and so on.
“I don’t think that parents are aware of the extent to which their teenage sons and daughters are drinking or aware of different kinds of drink,” Brian explains.
For research purposes, Brian posed as a 15-year-old on the internet and he found there was no problem getting information on alcohol or accepting invitations to parties with plenty of available alcohol.
Another part of the problem, in Brian’s opinion, is the fact that alcohol consumption in Ireland is not linked with eating to the same extent as in most other European countries.
“The reality is that it’s much more acceptable in other countries not to drink alcohol and people socialise a lot without drinking alcohol in other countries but not so much in Ireland, which is a shame. I have a great social life now and I go to the pub regularly and enjoy it very much,” he adds.
Looking back on his early days drinking alcohol, Brian says he probably wouldn’t have been the one in school who people would have picked out as the potential alcoholic.
“My introduction to alcohol was at the age of 13 or 14 and I was drinking in bars in Ennis from when I was 14. I had no problem getting served and I knew where to go to get served. My peers were also drinking in bars at the same time. It wasn’t until my early to mid-20s that I became aware that alcohol was a problem for me, really towards the end of my college life. My drinking was creating problems for me in terms of social groups, finances and with my performance in college.
“In my mid-20s it really became an increasing problem and it led to a host of personal problems. By 27, drinking was a big problem for me. I had arrived at a point where I had distanced myself from my family; I had considerable financial losses and a host of other problematic situations because of my drinking. Drinking was also affecting my personal and professional life. My parents intervened and got me into treatment,” Brian remarks.
He feels he is very lucky now because his alcoholism isn’t a constant ideological struggle for him.
“I’m trying to make something positive out of what I experienced and I know that I can use my experiences to bring information to others about drinking. I talk quite openly about my drinking but, in general, people do not articulate their own issues with drink. I think it’s very important for people to have an honest dialogue about how they’re drinking – that goes for drinking over the Christmas season and in general too.
“A lot of people just can’t contemplate life without drinking, which is very sad for them. People have to realise that it’s very possible to live without alcohol and life without alcohol for a lot of people is far better than life with it. Alcoholism is not a defining issue in my life and I don’t think about it every day. I know that for someone who is a recovering alcoholic, recovery can become the addiction and that was not something that I wanted to happen me.
“The festive season can be a real struggle for anyone with a drink problem or a recovering alcoholic. Alcohol is everywhere at Christmas and everyone expects that everyone else will drink and be merry. Often, people don’t even know what to offer you if you’re not drinking alcohol, which apart from being ridiculous also doesn’t make sense, given the drink-driving laws. There are also huge discounts on alcohol in supermarkets especially but also in off-licences, which is a real temptation for people to buy a lot of alcohol,” he comments.
The recent ISPCC study into drinking habits at home also found that a very high percentage of children feel uncomfortable with their parents’ drinking.
“Many have also experienced drink-related violence. Some people drink at home every night, which means that kids are exposed to alcohol at a very young age and automatically assumed that the norm is to drink regularly,” Brian says.
In his school visits, Brian says he doesn’t preach to pupils about the dos and don’ts of alcohol.
“I ask them to question for themselves the national perception of drinking norms. The school visits are about having an honest dialogue about alcohol use and because I’m close to the pupils, I speak to them demographically. I think they listen to me, more than they might to someone else. I try to talk to them very honestly about some of the warning signs, particularly trying to talk to male pupils about their emotions and to be honest about their concerns.
“I’m not wagging my finger at them but just trying to help them. I also speak to pupils’ parents, who have a lot of questions, mainly about what kind of conversations they should have with their teenagers. They also discuss with me whether it’s right to offer their teenagers a glass of wine at home at a special family dinner,” he adds.
Brian feels there is a huge responsibility on parents to engage with their children and openly discuss alcohol.
“Many parents think schools should deal with issues such as this. My own son is 11 years old and I’ve already broached the subject of alcohol with him in a very basic way. That’s my duty. If he sees a Guinness or Bulmers ad on television, he might say to me that I don’t drink and I explain to him in a very basic way that drink can create a problem for some people and it did for me.
“I also don’t agree that letting teenagers have a drink at home helps because if they start getting used to it, I believe they will gradually begin to drink more and more. I honestly feel that the later the better that children are introduced to drinking alcohol. I also think that the drinking age should be raised to 21,” he concludes.
Brian’s book, which was released in November 2009, is now on its fourth print. He is currently doing a weekly slot on RTÉ’s The Daily Show every Tuesday with Dáithí Ó Sé and Claire Byrne, where he is part of a discussion panel on current news stories. He is also a features journalist with The Irish Times and is currently working on a documentary on single fathers’ rights.