Pixar screeches to a halt

FILM REVIEW

Cars 2
DIRECTED BY: John Lasseter, Brad Lewis
VOICES: Owen Wilson, Larry The Cable Guy, Michael Caine, John Turturro, Emily Mortimer, Eddie Izzard
CERT: G

Cars made a nice few hundred million at the box office and has raked in another gazillion dollars in merchandising over the past several years. So, clearly, the film is beloved by many a child, young and old,­ so much so, in fact, that next year Disney will open Cars Land at their California adventure park.
Still and all, Cars remains the weakest of Pixar’s creations, lagging well behind their other wonderful tales of toys, bugs, superheroes, monsters and forgetful little fish.
Or at least, it did remain the weakest until another Pixar animated feature came along, boasting even less charm and personality, even more dull writing and lame jokes and tonnes more flashy detail and frantic action to make up for the overall lack of imagination.
That other film is Cars 2 ­ an unnecessary sequel to begin with but one that is executed with such little heart that you have to wonder if co-director and Pixar’s main man John Lasseter is getting a tad cynical. Though it may be more likely his big bosses at Disney were calling the shots here, insisting that new and previous generations of kids (and their cash-strapped parents) get whipped up into an extended box office/DVD/dinky-car frenzy that will keep them going till the theme park gates open up to swallow what’s left of the family savings.
Mind you, it could be that Cars 2 is the best thing since the Tayto and Mars Bar combination and it’s just me that’s jaded, seeing all kinds of badness where really there is nothing but simple fun, good times for everyone. But I don’t think those dark, slinking shadows are a figment of my imagination.
This time around, race champion Lightning McQueen (Wilson) and his right hand clown, Mater the tow truck (Larry The Cable Guy), are leaving little Radiator Springs behind and heading for international fame.
Lightning is taking part in the World Grand Prix, organised by inventor Sir Myles Axelrod (Izzard) to prove the worthiness of his new planet-friendly fuel. Racing in England, Italy and Japan, Lightning finds himself up against Italian superstar Francesco Bernoulli (Turturro) in a fiery duel for the title.
But this is just the hanger for the real story, where goofy Mater takes centre stage ­ not the best idea Mr Lasseter ever had, as it turns out. As the new star of the franchise, Mater ends up in the middle of a spy adventure alongside an exceptionally well-armed car called Finn McMissile (Caine) and the sleek little British agent Holly Shiftwell (Mortimer) – names that might be kind of funny if Austin Powers hadn’t gotten to the Bond spoof first.
As a fairly minor character in the first movie, the dim but excitable redneck truck was good for a few laughs but this time out it’s painfully obvious there was never any more than that under his rusty hood. Listening to Larry The Cable Guy for any extended duration is an endurance test in itself; listening to him assault you with an endless barrage of lame gags makes you want to do extreme violence to him, the writers and anyone else who stood by while these jokes were allowed to leave the studio. Watching Mater flash his witless grin while he delivers these lines doesn’t help to soothe your nerves.
It isn’t all as bad as that. Pixar are still visual masters and their work on the cityscapes, the races and assorted vehicles, gizmos and set pieces is spectacular. There’s even the occasional genuine laugh and the odd heart-warming moment.
But this is a film directed by John Lasseter ­ the man who gave the world the Toy Story films, the man whose studio revolutionised animation with a series of peerless movies. We shouldn’t be talking about the odd great moment in the course of 106 minutes.
By his own standards, this is well below par ­ and with any luck, he’ll finally lay this whole pet automobile project aside and move on. While he’s at it, he might lay off the political messages about big oil and the environment, especially when there are more sinister forces at work on his own doorstep, led by an evil mouse who wants to eat our children.
We live in terrible times, my friends. Be careful with those dinkies.