On the couch

DVD REVIEW

Safe ***
Directed by: Boaz Yakin
Starring: Jason Statham, Catherine Chan, Chris Sarandon, Robert John Burke

 

The Cold Light of Day *
Directed by: Mabrouk El Mechri
Starring: Henry Cavill, Sigourney Weaver, Bruce Willis, Verónica Echegui

Jason Statham needs a Facebook campaign.

Now that Matthew McConaughey seems to have woken from his decade-long slumber in the land of really, really, really unchallenging movies, there’s a gap in the cinematic landscape for an actor to say, “I really think he’s capable of more than he’s doing” about.

And Stay’fam is just the man for the job.

While good ol’ boy Matthew made his bread by whipping off his shirt and grinning in countless interminable chick-flick/rom-coms, Statham has been the best thing in a plethora of chop-sockey revenge flicks of varying qualities down the years.

But it always seemed like he could be doing more. Not much more, mind you. Unless the Oscars create a “Best Action Scene Involving Kicking and Being Gruff” category, he’s unlikely to bother the Academy at awards time but he still seems to be a more capable performer than the monotone roles he tends to gravitate toward.

Roles like that of mysterious man of kick-assery Luke Wright in Safe.

Actually, in its defence, Safe can be proud to rank itself toward the top of the long list of films in which Statham has played a man with a murky past and intimidating martial prowess who seems morally ambiguous on the surface but is, in fact, a good man underneath.

In this particular outing he plays a washed up MMA fighter who falls a-foul of some Russian gangsters after he wins a fight he was expected to lose.

Meanwhile, in another part of New York, a young Chinese girl, stolen from her parents, is being exploited for her super-numeracy by some Triads. The kid, Mei (Catherine Chan), who has a very important number sequence memorised in her beautiful mind, gets free after a botched kidnap by the Russians and goes on the run.

A chance encounter with a suicidal Wright sees the two form an unlikely bond and the rest of the film sees them try and work out what the number is for, while avoiding the murderous searches of both gangs and some New Yawk cops who also have it out for the stubbly hero.

What Safe lacks in any real association with reality it more than makes up for in pace and general enthusiasm. The plot is sufficiently complex to give the impression that somebody actually sat down and thought about things for more than five minutes but never gets in the way of the kicky-punchy-runny-shouty action.

There’s not a whole lot else to say about Safe. It’s far from perfect but it provides exactly the sort of thrills you’d want from a film of its calibre. There’s enough innovation in the chase and fight scenes to make you wince, yelp or throw popcorn but nothing that’s likely to upset a pacemaker.
But for its star it’s just another safe bet.

Speaking of playing things safe, The Cold Light of Day might have been better off being worse.
At least if Mabrouk El Mechri’s follow-up to the excellent JCVD had been terrible there would be something worthwhile to say about it. As it stands it’s a bout as bland and pro forma as an action film can get.

Henry Cavill stars as a handsome chap whose family disappears from their yacht. Cranky dad (Bruce Willis) reppears long enough to reveal the great family secret – he’s actually a spook, not a government party planner – before being excused from work on account of being shot.

Meanwhile, some nasty terrorist types want a briefcase with something secret and governmental in it in exchange for Henry’s remaining family members and the poor baffled chap proceeds to criss-cross Madrid being chased by the aforementioned terrorists and a few other shady types in search of godknowswhat.

Sound exciting? It isn’t. It boggles the mind how a film like this could be made without somebody along the way asking, politely, if maybe it should be made less boring and more, y’know, exciting?

Maybe cast members with experience of some of the greatest action movies of all time – I’m looking at you Bruce Willis and Sigourney Weaver – could have twigged something. They didn’t and the end product is about as exciting as the wet bar napkin the story was probably originally written on.

An honourable mention should be given to Weaver however, who, despite not saving the whole production from itself still manages to channel her inner Terminator as a rogue agent who is one of the many chasing poor Henry. Her icy disposal of any and all inconveniences around her is about the only entertaining thing in the whole film.