No buzz about Hornet

The Green Hornet
DIRECTED BY: Michel Gondry
STARRING: Seth Rogen, Jay Chou, Cameron Diaz, Christoph Waltz
CERT: 12A

Like many a superhero, The Green Hornet began life on American radio in the 1930s and is probably best known for the short-lived TV series from the 60s, which introduced the world to Bruce Lee. Lee played the hero’s Asian sidekick Kato and in his native Hong Kong, the programme was known simply as The Kato Show.
As a masked crusader, The Hornet has been derided as a rip-off of his contemporary Batman – though apparently he was originally conceived as a descendant of The Lone Ranger.
In any case he has never enjoyed the same popularity as other superheroes and has been a pretty obscure figure for decades, though a movie has been in the works for some time. Kevin Smith was one of a number of directors attached and the lead role was originally intended for George Clooney.
The role is now filled by Seth Rogen and I don’t think it’s harsh to say that this was the first sign of a certain lowering of standards. I like Rogen but in small doses and preferably speaking somebody else’s lines. Here he also got to be the co-writer, along with Evan Goldberg, which was an invitation for the man to lose the run of himself entirely. The fact that The Green Hornet was moved from a big summer opening to the wastelands of January suggested that’s exactly what had happened. And so it proves.
Rogen is spoilt rich kid Britt Reid, playboy son of newspaper tycoon James (Tom Wilkinson) and heir to business. When his father dies suddenly, it looks like Britt will have to take the reins at the Los Angeles Sentinel and might even be forced to cut his gallivanting and finally grow up.
But that would be too boring. Instead, he befriends his late daddy’s chauffeur and all round handyman Kato (Chou) and the two become crime fighters with a twist – the twist being that they are good guys pretending to be bad guys, all the better to confuse the bad guys. And the good guys.
Reid becomes the Green Hornet, naturally the one who gets the headlines, though it is Kato who does the dirty work with his nifty martial arts. He also provides the superhero car, the Black Beauty, which has machine guns and missiles as just some of its additional features.
Their nemesis is big time city crime lord Chudnofsky (Waltz – the “Jew hunter” from Inglorious Basterds), who’s a tad insecure and is starting to worry that nobody is scared of him anymore. He might have a bit more to worry about when the lads come after him.
Another man who might be a bit concerned is director Michel Gondry, who rightly earned a fine name for Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, a reputation that will take a dent from this messy spectacle.
Rogen’s script – built mostly on tons of shouty dialogue for himself and long frantic action scenes – is mostly to blame, though as the man who calls the shots on set, it’s Gondry’s job to rein in the excesses.
Maybe he couldn’t be bothered and was just trying to get through. Or it might be that he was too preoccupied with his 3D toys – and in that respect at least he has done well enough, serving up some very cool visuals where most filmmakers seem to take some disturbing pleasure in using 3D to make going to the movies as irritating as possible.
That aside, he has presided over a shambles – a shambles that is occasionally funny and shows off a few fine action set pieces but a shambles all the same.
Between himself and Rogen, they’ve shunted Cameron Diaz off to the sideline, perhaps of the mind that a girl would only get in the way of the boy fun. She’s supposed to be Reid’s secretary and the subject of romantic competition between the heroes but she’s hardly there at all.
Christoph Waltz fares a bit better as the ranting villain and there’s a great scene where he puts the fear of God into James Franco.
But the memorable parts are few. That didn’t stop Hornet from doing good opening box office business, so it’s likely we’ll see a sequel down the road and the green chap won’t disappear back into obscurity just yet.