Killaloe man honours wife with charity run

Bobby Reynolds could be forgiven for looking back in anger. Eighteen months ago, he lost his wife, Michelle after an eight-year battle with breast cancer, leaving him with two young daughters, Katie (8) and Edie (6).
There are times when he yearns for a return to his old life but he tries to look forward with optimism and is extremely grateful for being able to enjoy his two daughters.
The courage he has shown in picking up the pieces as a widowed father has inspired a committee of women in Killaloe and Ballina to leave no stone unturned for the organisation of the second annual Killaloe Pink Ribbon Walk in aid of Action Breast Cancer this Saturday.
When Bobby lines up with up to 1,000 women and men to complete the 10km trek on the shores of Lough Derg, his thoughts will invariably turn to Michelle.
He knows that if his wife was still alive, she would have continued fundraising for Action Breast Cancer in view of her own family history after her own mother, Carmel Lahart had died from breast cancer at the age of 42.
“All through Michelle’s cancer journey we had outstanding support from Action Breast Cancer, right up to home care nurses and night care nurses in the last few days of her life and that was a wonderful support.
“The outcome wasn’t what we would have liked but not everyone gets beaten by breast cancer. That’s part of the message that we want to get out and Action Breast Cancer is certainly leading the charge in that regard,” he said.
He urged people from the Mid-West to participate in the event this Saturday and to donate as generously as they could to Action Breast Cancer and the Irish Cancer Society if they can’t get involved in the walk.
Event organisers are hoping to double participation levels from last year’s hugely successful walk when 550 took part and raised over €80,000. For the committee, the event is as much about raising awareness of breast cancer as it is raising funds to help fight it.
About 15 years ago, Bobby and Michelle, who were both from Athlone came to the Mid-West. Two years later they moved to Ballina and got married in 2001. Their difficult journey began a few months later when Michelle found a lump in her left breast.
“It was a massive shock for Michelle to find herself getting treatment for cancer that killed her mother,” he recalls.
She had chemotherapy in the Regional Oncology Unit at the Mid-Western Regional Hospital, Limerick and radiotherapy over a two-week period in St Luke’s in Dublin. Throughout her illness, Michelle always remained positive and didn’t allow her health difficulties to interfere with family life.
Michelle and Bobby did their best to move on with their lives and put the first scare behind them but the couple were hit with a second nightmare shortly after the birth of Edie in 2005 when Michelle found a lump in her other breast.
Tests also revealed that Michelle had a genetic disorder known as BRCA1, which meant she faced an increased risk of developing breast or ovarian cancer. This prompted a double mastectomy in St John’s Hospital and her ovaries in the summer of 2005.
A year later, Michelle had reconstructive breast surgery and the couple did their best to get their life back on track. She returned to work with Irish Rail and worked as much as she could when she was well enough. In July 2008, a biopsy confirmed the couple’s worst fears – the cancer had spread to her lungs and liver and she was given between 18 months and two years to live in September 2008.
Bobby took time off work in the summer of 2009 and the family got a camper van and embarked on a tour of the West of Ireland. “Although Michelle was quite well, we knew what we were up against. We were not thinking about weeks or months, it was about living day-to-day.
“One of the goals Michelle set was to see Edie starting Ballina National School, which she achieved. This meant a lot to her.
“We looked at what we had. I met Michelle when she was 16. We had 20 great years together and two beautiful children. I am not a saint. There are still days and times when I feel down but it doesn’t last as long at this stage. You thing you are prepared for the death of a loved one, but when it comes you are not,” he said.
Michelle remained at home in September 2009 and was put under the care of the palliative care team in Milford Hospice with night nurses from the Irish Cancer Society, which proved to be invaluable for the entire family.
Bobby stressed the importance of allowing Michelle to remain at home in her final days and really appreciated the support he received, which eliminated the need for any hospital or hospice care.
“I did a bereavement course in Milford Care Centre, which I found was very helpful to deal with grief. Katie also found it helpful and Edie is enrolled to do one.  I saw people there in their 70s and my first reaction was what are you doing here, you had a great life.
“However, when you hear their stories, it is still a loss whether the person you loved was 17 or 70. People on the course really help each other,” he recalled.