‘A voice for young gay men’

AN Ennis man is hoping to become a role model for Clare gay men by taking part in 2012’s Mr Gay Ireland competition.

Timmie Murphy, who recently turned 30, says he is entering the competition “to become a voice for young gay men in Clare and Ireland”. Timmie, who is from Ballybeg, is now living in Dublin where he is a retail fashion manager.
Timmie left Ennis for work when he was in his early 20s, coming out to his family and friends two years ago.
“I was 28 when I came out and from day one I’ve had massive support and this is my way of thanking people for that,” he says.
Recalling when he first came out, he says, “I had dated girls for years, I was in relationships with girls. I suppose I always knew I was gay growing up, I just didn’t recognise it. But I always knew there was something missing.
“Then I became friends with other lads who were gay while I was living in Cork and Dublin and I discovered this other life and I just came out from there.
“I never had any hesitation in telling my family. Actually, my father asked me if I was gay just purely randomly when we were talking, he just came out with it. My father, Pat, is a very open and liberal man, very understanding and we are very close. Then I told my mum, Mary, and she was a massive support, as well as my three brothers. All my friends, family, relatives, I’ve had a massive amount of support in Clare.”
When asked if he believes it was easier coming out while living in Dublin, rather than Ennis, he answers, “I think it was because there wasn’t any outlet for gay fellas in Clare. But when people here knew, it was just another day, so maybe if I was living in Clare it would have been the same.”
He continues, “When I moved from Ennis, a gay scene or a gay man was, even back then, totally alien to me and my friends. I didn’t have any gay friends growing up here but now I know several gay men in Ennis.
“Just because there is no ‘scene’ here for fellas to go to, there are still a lot of gay men from Ennis out in Limerick and Cork. Just because we don’t all meet in the same place doesn’t mean we’re not here.”
He acknowledges that while his coming out was a positive experience, for other gay men it can be more difficult.
“However, I believe time passes and people get more comfortable with things. I think if there is a young fella living in Ennis or any other country town and he is struggling with this and his family aren’t as accepting, I want to tell him that time does move on. And you’re only doing more damage to yourself by holding in things.”
He hopes that speaking about his own experiences and taking part in the Mr Gay Ireland competition will encourage more Clare men to be true to their sexuality.
Timmie could not talk too much about the Mr Gay Ireland competition, as the dates have not been finalised. However,  he says, “I want to compete to be a role model, to raise gay awareness for fellas who are from country towns like Ennis and just to let them know that it is very easy to come out in this day and age.
“No matter where you’re from, whether it’s a big city, town or village, there really is nothing to worry about. I want to give hope to young fellas living in Ennis and Clare.
“In recent years we have come a long, long way, especially with civil partnerships now. I’m single but I do want to get married and I do want kids eventually, hopefully in the next five or six years if I meet the right man.
“Whether it’s civil partnership, or hopefully gay marriage, I will be getting married in Ennis with a huge family wedding. God, 10 years ago if there were two men getting married in Ennis, can you imagine what that would be like,” he smiles.