On the couch

Rise of the Planet of the Apes
****
Directed by: Rupert Wyatti
Starring: James Franco, Andy Serkis, Freida Pinto, John Lithgow, Brian Cox, Tom Felton

Conan the Barbarian
***
Directed by: Michael Nispel
Starring: Jason Momoa, Rachel  Nichols, Stephen Lang, Rose McGowan, Ron Perlman

After the car crash that was the Tim Burton’s version of Planet of the Apes in 2001, the prospect of a prequel being made with a view to rebooting the series was received by many with nervous anticipation to down right fear.
Well worry not primate lovers, Rise of the Planet of the Apes is not only a fantastic addition to the Planets series and a solidjumping off point if plans for a few more flicks do come to fruition, it’s just hands-down a great sci-fi flick in its own right.
While working on a cure for Alzheimer’s disease, scientist Will Rodman (James Franco) hits upon a virus that causes hyper-intelligence in the chimps it’s tested on but has the side effects of sneezing blood and death for any humans exposed to it.
Due to a little monkey business in the research facility, Will is forced to continue his research in secret for a few years but has even more impressive results with his new subjects – his father (John Lithgow) and a baby chimp named Caesar (played by the motion captured Andy Serkis).
Problems develop when Caesar’s expanded intellect causes him to bridle at his status of beloved family pet and, when he beats the hell out of a nasty neighbour he gets thrown into primate prison – his first contact with others of his kind.
It’s difficult to get into the details of the plot of Rise of the Planet of the Apes without blowing some entertaining twists but suffice it to say that roughly the first half sets Caesar up as a figure richly deserving of sympathy and the second half allowing him some well-deserved payback on humanity with a series of exciting and impressive action sequences.
When the revolution comes it’s hard, despite the fact that the fate of our species hangs in the balance, not to root for the furrier cast members (Tyler Labine notwithstanding). Especially as, even without the benefit of dialogue or being real, the chimps, apes and orangutans act the humans off the stage.
While the people are mostly broadly scribbled stereotypes – the nice doctor, the demented but loveable dad, the cruel zoo keeper (played by Brian Cox) – the chimps, Caesar particularly, have a bit of character to them – moods, motivations that sort of thing. It’s a powerful endorsement of how far motion capture technology has come even since the Lord of the Rings films and speaks highly of the performers playing the main apes, especially Serkis who continues to be impressive in nearly every film project he lends his talents to.
It’s not that the humans are bad, it’s just that the apes are better, smarter and probably a bit cooler too.
While no knowledge of the other Planet of the Apes movies is necessary, Rise does a nice job of referencing the originals – “Take your stinking paws off me you damn dirty ape” even gets a look in – and subtly plants the seeds for potential follow-ups in background news stories.
If Rise has anything in common with another film in terms of a sense of impending doom undercutting the story it is, ironically, 12 Monkeys. Like the best episodes of The Twilight Zone, it’s sunny backdrop belies the sinister story and for Apes and sci-fi fans alike, Rise of the Planet of the Apes does not disappoint.
Another long awaited (and slightly feared) remake/reboot thingy is Conan the Barbarian. While there were rumblings throughout the ’90s about sequels to the first two flicks, nothing ever came of them due to the political aspirations of its star, Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Now, nearly 30 years after John Milius’ cult original was released, the role of the muscle bound Cimmurian revenge machine has passed to younger more plausibly proportioned pecs.
Taking up the grimacing and flexing duties is Jason Momoa, best known for his role as Khal Drogo in the TV series Game of Thrones, a role which demanded the Hawaiian actor grunt, glower, swing a sword and shun any sort of geansaí, no matter what the weather. Given his experience he was a shoo-in for Conan.
Taking a slightly different spin on the barbarian’s origin story, the new Conan gives the hero a far better, more believable back story. After a dose of childhood trauma, the story flashes forward to find the precocious child warrior all grown up and travelling the world in search of the man who massacred his tribe (Stephen Lang). In doing so he gets embroiled in a small bit of saving the world and still manages to find time to save some slaves, rescue his mate and get the girl (Rachel Nichols).
Despite the new Conan being a much better film in many ways than the original – the lead can actually act this time around, the special effects are good and sparingly used in favour of well directed fight scenes and physical stunts – it lacks the gratuitous fun of the Ahnuld original.
Say what you want about the man but despite not being able to act, he still had a formidable screen presence that Momoa, for all his brawn, cannot replicate. Even three decades later any addition to the Barbarian franchise is going to be compared to the original and while Conan 2011 doesn’t exactly fall short, neither does it live up to its predecessor.
It’s a decent fantasy-action film but is unlikely to launch anything more than a few online arguments.