Maureen’s memory lives on with charity events

LAUGHTER and tears mingle freely as John and Mairead Lavery talk about their late daughter, Maureen, who died on January 21, 2012. Aged just 27 when she passed away, Maureen was diagnosed with cancer in December 2010 and although she fought it for as long as she was able, her condition deteriorated and eventually took her. Employed as a beautician at Rochford’s Pharmacy in Ennis, Maureen had an immediate concern once the diagnosis was confirmed.

 

“When they told her, the first thing she asked was, ‘would the hair go’?” Mairead remembers.

“Thank God it didn’t. Again, that was because the care she was getting was pain management more than anything. She never cried or got angry. At no stage did she ever ask, ‘why is this happening to me’?” Maureen’s mother reflects.

After a liver operation, even the surgeon suggested that Maureen, who has two brothers and a sister, would be entitled to vent her anger at her condition.

“He had told us that it was the end. She said to him, ‘I don’t do anger’. We weren’t allowed to cry. We’d do all the crying downstairs and go up and into the room. She’d look at me and she’d say, ‘what’s your problem? I’m the one that has cancer, don’t you be crying about it’,” Mairead recounts.

On Saturday at 3pm in The Fairgreen, Ennis, a charity soccer match, in Maureen’s memory, will be held. John had hoped that two teams would field but on Tuesday he had a problem as up to 80 players had confirmed their attendance.

Originally from Belfast, John has been involved in soccer in Ennis since 1977. When Maureen was growing up, herself and her father were inseparable. If John was at a soccer match with Avenue United, Cloughleigh Celtic, Turnpike Rovers or Ennis Albion, Maureen was invariably by his side.

“We used to go to games all the time. She was interested in the boys, not the games,” John jokes.
His wife is not amused. “She was not. If she heard you, she’d kill you,” Mairead interjects immediately.

While Mairead doesn’t share her husband’s passion for soccer, Maureen did.

“She loved soccer since she could walk. When she’d say her name, ‘Maureen Lavery’, the lads would ask was she John Lavery’s daughter?” Mairead smiles.

On May 18, the Auburn Lodge, Ennis will host the second annual Pink Angel Ball in Maureen’s memory. Last year, more than 500 people attended the inaugural event in The Clare Inn. The Laverys are indebted to Orla Meehan, the primary organiser, while Gareth O’Callaghan will be the master of ceremonies.

“The Pink Angel name came from when she was having the bowel operation. She thought she saw an angel. She firmly believes she did,” Mairead reveals.

Money raised from all fundraisers in Maureen’s memory will be donated to the cancer centre in Kilnamona and Cahercalla Hospice in Ennis.

“Maureen was in Milford Hospice and we gave them money last year. We felt this year that we’d keep it local,” her mother explains.

Even in her last days at home in Cloughleigh, Maureen was plotting how to buy Christmas presents for her family and her boyfriend, Barry Kilbane.

“That Christmas, from the bed, she made Sarah, our other daughter, go up to the shoe shop and photograph the boots that she wanted to buy me for Christmas. Sarah took the photographs and Maureen pointed out the ones she wanted to get for me,” Mairead recalls.

“She also had a friend of hers, Sarah Bezant, go up and down town for a week because she was buying Barry a watch. She never got to give the gifts for Christmas. After she died, I was tidying the room. She had all the little parcels under the bed with the names. That was her,” Mairead reflects quietly.

On what was her last Christmas Day, Maureen was adamant that she had an emotional journey to make. “She got up out of the bed on Christmas morning and drove out to Barry in Ballyea. She came down the stairs, put up the hand and said ‘Mam, I want to drive out to see Barry and his Mam and Dad’. She lived for three more weeks and he never left her side,” Mairead said.

When Maureen passed away, it was in a calm, peaceful setting.

“Sarah Bezant and Caroline O’Connor were upstairs with her. It was about 11pm and we were waiting for the hospice nurse to come. Barry was sitting at the side of the bed with a women’s magazine, reading out the problem page. They were having great craic. They did her make-up and they brushed her hair. When the nurse came, they went home. I said I’d ring them first thing in the morning,” Mairead remembers.

“The nurse said she’d stay in the room with her. That was 11.30pm. Ten minutes later, she called us and she died at 12.10am. It was very sad but now when I look back on it, Barry was there shortly before, as were Sarah and Caroline. The fun and the craic they had… Then she died an hour later. It was lovely. That’s the way she would have wanted it. She went out looking perfect and having had a laugh,” Mairead smiles.

If Mairead had the choice, she would have preferred it was her and not Maureen who had cancer. Her daughter wasn’t having that, though.

“She said, ‘Mam, don’t ever say that. I wouldn’t want that. I’m happy that it’s me. I wouldn’t want this for you or Dad’. She was the loveliest little girl and she was as good as gold. She never put a foot wrong,” Mairead says.

“She put a foot wrong. You just didn’t know about it,” her husband John laughs.

“I’ve been reading some material which said that you can make heroes of someone who has died. But we’re not, that’s the way she was. She was a good, lovely, lovely girl and everybody loved her,” Maureen’s heartbroken but very proud mother will always believe.