‘Don’t judge a person who dies by suicide’ – Fitzgerald

PEOPLE who die by suicide shouldn’t be judged for taking this drastic course of action, according to Clare hurling manager, Davy Fitzgerald.
Instead, the former All-Star custodian believes people should concentrate on helping people suffering from severe depression and those expressing suicidal thoughts.
The two time All-Ireland winner has revealed his heart scare in 1999 proved to be the “wake-up call” he needed to put his own life into perspective and appreciate his own health and well being.
The Sixmilebridge man and Clare hurlers are supporting a campaign to increase public awareness of the services provided by Pieta House, the Mid-West Suicide and Self-harm Crisis Intervention Centre in Mungret, Limerick.
He insists it is wrong to judge or attach a stigma to anyone who dies by suicide.
“We don’t know what is going on in anyone’s head. For someone to take their own life, it must be pretty unbelievable how they are feeling.
“They must have put some huge amount of thought into what they were doing and felt there was no other way out.
“I would like someone who has suicidal thoughts to talk to people in a place like Pieta House.
“We have, in Ireland, a tendency to judge and talk about people. We are not always right. Just because we say something about a person doesn’t mean it is the right thing.
“I have come across people with depression before, I have seen it very close. It is not easy. We have a tendency to ignore it. All you can do is to try and help them along the right path, You can’t make that person feel good. They have to want to do it themselves and want to take that help on board themselves,” he said.
While he organises a lot of charity walks, he believes the need for more suicide prevention and intervention is the most important cause.
Having attended the inaugural Darkness Into Light fundraising walk and run in Lees Road last year, Fitzgerald was surprised to see over 550, who were united in grief participating in this emotional and poignant event.
“The pressure to succeed in sport is massive. It is a problem. We had a rugby player who came out and spoke about depression and the thoughts that came into this head.
“People are so opinionated and think they are right. People should leave the players and management get on with their job and do it. It affects players when people are roaring and shouting at them. Players go out and train and do their best and yet people are never happy.
“I say to the players, once we give it 100%, we will leave it at that. Let people say what they want.
“We are in a recession and we talk ourselves into a recession worse than it really is. Compared to a lot of countries, we are still have our health and not very badly off. Yet we all know things are very tight for the last few years. There have been unreal changes, you are not spending as much as before.
“We are not too badly off but we are too negative when it comes to certain things, ‘this is wrong and that is wrong’,” he said.
Having come very close to a heart attack, Davy now feels any day he is healthy is a good day.
Although Davy doesn’t drink or smoke, he had a 95% blockage in an artery and admits he could have suffered from a heart attack.
“I could have had a heart attack at any stage. I had to come home for a week. I couldn’t go to sleep, I was afraid something was going to happen.
“It was a 100% wake-up call. I had to look at myself, look at what I was doing and how I was handling things. I was taking abuse. There is times when all of us feel down. I felt down a number of times. It is not a nice feeling. That scare gave me a thing to say ‘hold on’.
“I thought I was invincible. It put things into perspective and it made me think a bit more. I just say to myself and say to players ‘don’t mind the abuse, don’t mind what people are trying to tell you, enjoy what you are doing and we will try and block that out’.” We are not perfect, we will all make mistakes as sport people and management,” he recalled.
Davy hates the bedgrudgery and negativity that is prevalent in Irish society.
“I love to see society not being so negative and concentrating on the negative. There is good stuff happening in the world. There are people out there who are never happy. Things have happened to me over a number of years that I found hard to let go. But over the last few years, I have let go way more.
“If I have something on my mind, I will say it and then it is over. It is not going to hold me back because I believe negativity will hold you back and make you feel down and make you always be whining and moaning about stuff. Why are we doing that?  It just doesn’t make sense.
He recalled the joy one boy with special needs got from attending a training session when he was Waterford manager.
“I brought one lad down to Waterford for training and one night, he was singing a song and he was laughing.
“I said ‘what the hell, are we in the real world at all some of us?’ We are bitching and moaning and talking about ‘Pa’ down the road or someone not being good over a team or this or that. We want to wake up a small bit. There is a large majority like that. Let’s take care of ourselves and enjoy what we have,” he said.
“We seem to get stuck into people’s business and talk about them and forget about what impact this has on their feelings. None of us is perfect.
“There is certain people that could do with a bit of help and they don’t need people talking about them left right and centre. Unfortunately, in Ireland, that is what we are good at doing – concentrating on the negatives.
My philosophy in life is you should always take care of your own business and if you can help someone, that is good as well,” he added.
He knew a young man who died by suicide a few years ago and described the long-lasting effects as “unreal” for his family and the entire community.
“It was hard to figure out what happened because no one would have had an idea from this person. He was as bubbly as you would ever meet and was in great form. You would love if he had been able to have a talk or a chat with someone who may have helped him.
“He was a messer and joker in the pack. You would have thought it for a second. I couldn’t believe it myself. It still goes through your mind years afterwards, why or how did it happen and things like that.
“He obviously had a lot of things on his mind and it was a pity he wasn’t able to talk to anyone.
“Awareness is very important. There are people out there with a lot of things on their mind, who need to talk to someone who can help them in places like Pieta House,” he added.
For further information, contact Pieta House on 061 484444 or the Ennis Samaritans on 065 6829777.