Home » Lifestyle » In memory of Rachel

In memory of Rachel

Car Tourismo Banner

Rachel O’Dwyer tragically died 10 years ago but, despite the passage of time, her memory still lives on in her native Quilty and among her family and friends, who will pay special tribute to her on the feast of All Souls, as part of a national event.

Rita O’Dwyer, Quilty, sits near a family portrait depicting her children including her daughter Rachel who died in 1999.  Photograph by John KellyRachel’s mother, Rita, recalls her little girl with great fondness and admiration, a bubbly ten-year-old who was starting to steer her own course in life when she was struck by a virus that in a matter of two weeks claimed her life.
The beautiful, funny, endearing girl suffered a seizure in the middle of the night, which prompted her parents to bring her straight to a doctor, from there she was taken to the Mid-West Regional Hospital in Limerick, where she was put on strong medication. It was hoped that the drugs would deaden the brain and when she was taken off them that it would have killed the virus.
The O’Dwyers were informed that Rachel could die, she could recover but be severely affected, or she could fully recover. Never for a moment did they think they would have to make the toughest decision of their lives and have to switch off the life support machines and let their little girl go.
Rita explains that in the years that followed her daughters passing, she devoted most of her time to finding the one magical answer that would give her the strength to cope.
She found every book on the loss of a child hoping to that it would give her a will to carry on and she realised very quickly that she was not alone. Others had gone through the same experience, and when it boiled down to it she learned that the loss of a child, no matter how it occurred, was something only a parent who has gone through it could understand.
Rita set her mind to helping others by writing her own book, creating a memoir of Rachel and to Rachel, which she simply titled Rachel’s Story.
Some years passed, but the pain never left her, through birthdays and family celebrations there would always be a gap, a void that would never be filled. But some years later Rita found support in an organisation called Anam Cara, which was established by two mothers who also lost their children and through the bond they formed decided to set up a group for grieving parents.
“After Rachel died I spent forever searching for help. I had loads of questions and I wanted answers. I found it very difficult to find what I was looking for. I was looking for books written by Irish mothers, and a couple of years after Rachel died, by accident, I came across the Anam Cara website and that to me was absolutely brilliant in terms of support.
“There were all these mothers and fathers who had lost children and it proved that your pain and grief is the exact same as others in the same situation. The group offers a service where you can contact each other.
“They’re not professionals, they’re not counsellors and we’ve all gone to the counsellors, but nothing helps like talking to a mother or a father who has been through it. Anam Cara offers no magic answers, it is just about relating to each other and understanding one another and familiar pain,” Rita said.
On November 2, All Souls Day, Anam Cara will release balloons, each one sponsored to represent a child who has died in remembrance.
Rita believes that the balloon was a really nice symbol to show that remembrance.
“There’s something nice about watching a balloon going up into the sky and it’s like you’re sending them a present,” she said.
Another function of Anam Cara that particularly appealed to Rita was that she could pay tribute to her daughter online, where others could know Rachel and remember her.
“When I found out about this, within ten minutes I had a tribute up to Rachel. I went around the house with my camera taking the pictures of her and I wrote my little tribute. I was rightly chuffed. It meant a huge amount to me that Rachel was on a website that I had acknowledged her and set up a tribute to her. It’s a way of keeping her memory alive. That’s what the whole thing is about. Ask anyone who has lost a child, you are in constant fear that they are going to be forgotten. Time is going to move on and people will forget. It’s a huge thing that we all have, to keep their memory alive and make sure that whether they live for 10 years or 10 minutes, ten months or ten weeks that it was important that they’re not forgotten,” she concluded.
Anam Cara has launched its A Balloon to Remember initiative and the public can sponsor a balloon for a child that has died at a variety of retails outlets across Clare. They will then release these balloons at a special ceremony in Loyds Park, Tullamore, Offaly on the feast of All Souls, November 2. For more information visit www.anamcara.ie or email info@anamcara.ie.

 

About News Editor

Check Also

Living in the community of art in Ennistymon

Over the past six months, a diverse group of people have been coming together each …